Can you read my mind?
We’re playing a game around the table, where one person expresses an emotion and all the others try to guess which emotion it is. The oldest is making a facial expression no one can name.
Mama: “Worried?”
Jadon (8): “No.”
Daddy: “Constipated?”
Jadon: “No.”
Silence.
Jadon: “Can you think of anything else? It’s from a movie that hasn’t been made yet.”
A movie that hasn’t been made yet, because it’s still in his brain.
We’re not so happy
Hosea (4) (singing): “If you’re happy and you know it–”
Asa (5): “Shut up.”
Hygiene advice from a 4-year-old
Hosea: “Daddy, you need to cut your toenails.”
Daddy: “Yeah, I do.”
Hosea: “Do you know why, Daddy?”
Daddy: “Why?”
Hosea: “Because they’re too long.”
What an 8-year-old tantrum looks like
Daddy: “No, I’m sorry, it’s not time for that right now, Jadon. It’s time to get in the bath.”
Jadon (in a growl-like voice): “YOOOUUU MMMEEEAAANNN DAAAAADDY! YOOOOUUUU FARTFACE! YOOOOUUUU BUTTFACE!”
(He was given a firm talking to, don’t worry. After we had the classic turn-your-face-away laugh.)
A baby helps you sleep
Jadon, knocking on our door after it’s lights out: “I’m having trouble getting to sleep.”
Daddy: “Why don’t you try getting in your bed and trying not to fall asleep?”
Jadon: “Sometimes when I look at baby Asher I get sleepy. Can I come look at baby Asher?”
OK. I guess that works, too.
Sex talk gone wrong
Asa (5): “Mama, I’m sorry they had to cut open your stomach to get baby Asher out.”
Mama: “They didn’t, baby. Don’t worry.”
Asa: “Oh. Well how did he come out?”
Mama: “Remember? We talked about this the other night. There’s this thing women have called the vaginal passage. Babies come out that.”
Asa: “You mean your throat?”
Yes. Exactly that. Glad you were listening, son.
