Writing is one of those professions that you typically do from the comfort of your own home. I rarely get out of my house or, even, the room I’ve set aside for my writing—which is a small sitting area in my bedroom.
Every now and then I’ll get a wild hair and go for a walk and see the world, but I’m not really writing then, I’m just thinking or brainstorming. Or I’ll drive down to our local library, which has a pretty fantastic outdoor space if no one had the same idea I had (which is always the risk—and then I’ve wasted some of my really sparse time), and I’ll sit in a rocking chair, with nature humming around me, and create.
But because I typically hole up inside my bedroom and write, it’s really easy to get distracted. When you’re home all the time, of course there are other things that come knocking on our subconscious.
Remember that laundry you forgot to put in the dryer? You should go do that right now.
Remember that stack of dishes in the sink? You should probably do them before dinner.
Remember how you said you’d go to the grocery store today? Your pantry’s really bare, and the kids are about to be home from school, claiming they’re hungry.
The kids. There’s not even enough room to list here all the distractions kids can provide—all the papers that need to be signed, the pants that need to be tightened (because I have skinny kids), the stuffed animals that need mending, the never-ending questions that need answering, the attitudes that need curbing, the homework that needs supervising.
I probably don’t have to tell you how difficult it is to stay focused in an environment like this one.
So here are my best tips for taking your writing business from amateur to professional, at least on the production and focus side:
1. Set aside the time to write.
We’re not ever going to start writing if we don’t actually set aside the time to do it. This isn’t easy when we’re parents, because you know what is the only job from which you can’t take a break (unless you beg)? Parenting. There are always needs that our kids have, even when they’re away at school. I am constantly with my phone, because I never know when someone from the school might need to get in touch because a boy is sick or I forgot about early release or someone forgot their lunch and can I give permission for them to charge one.
But my point is that I have a space on my calendar, every day, that says this is my creating time. I don’t schedule anything else for that time, unless there’s an emergency that no one else can take care of.
2. Set up the space.
Like setting aside the time, if we don’t have a space set aside where we will actually do the work, we won’t do the work. Set up this space however you like it. I’ve set up a standing desk in my bedroom, right in front of my dresser. Every now and then, it’s a little freaky, because I get so lost in my words that I forget what I’m doing, and I look up at the mirror, and there’s this person staring at me. It takes me a minute to remember it’s me. So maybe don’t set your standing desk up in front of a mirror. It’s the only space I had for a standing desk, though, and it was important for me to stand for most of the hours of my day, instead of sitting.
On the tail hour of my work day, I’ll usually sit in my blue wing chair, with a couple of books on the coffee table in front of me, and work on things like editing or business items that need to be gotten done. My day is pretty crammed full, but my space, unless my kids have destroyed it (which is highly likely) is usually nice and ordered and relaxing.
3. Do the work.
This is probably the hardest thing of all, because there are a lot of things that will come against us. Some people call this Resistance.
Resistance, for me, comes in the form of crying children—especially my baby. He’s a mama’s boy through and through, because he’s the youngest, and I’m truly captivated by him, so when I hear him crying, which isn’t often, thank goodness, I feel my focus shatter. If I hear his voice, or if his daddy brings him in to see me, because he starts missing me about halfway through my creating time, I’ll smile and kiss him and snuggle for five minutes or so, and then he’s good and it’s time for me to get back to work. I wear headphones most of the time while I’m creating so I can’t hear the roar of noise my children make when they’re with their daddy.
Resistance can also come in the form of a stomach virus, trying to keep us in bed, or our kids latched to our side. It comes to us as laundry and dishes and all the things we should be doing instead of writing.
The trick to beating Resistance is doing it the first time (and, also, believing in the value of our work). After that, it becomes easier and easier to beat.
4. Get started.
You don’t have to get started on a 120,000-word novel. Start with 225 words in your morning pages (that’s about the equivalent of one page in a long-hand journal). Set a daily word count for yourself and constantly push yourself to attain it. Do some writing exercises to ease you into the writing. Record your progress and see how you’re doing.
5. Minimize the distractions as much as you can.
Like I said, there are so many of them when you’re a parent. But I’m not even talking about our kids. I’m talking about technology and Internet and, for me, books. Turn off the phone, close the Internet browser, keep the books on your shelves until you’ve written your word goal for the day. Those stories inside you will be glad you honored them.
6. Run your own race.
It’s so tempting to look around at all the other authors who are doing so much better than we are, and to get distracted by that. Sometimes I find myself feeling jealous about this or that book deal, and I wonder why not me, because of course I’m entitled to what they got. I’m pretty good, too.
[Tweet “Our race is our own. No one else can run it for us. We owe the world our own journey.”]
And, also, we are all in this together. We can’t forget that.
7. Connect.
Writing can be a very solitary pursuit, and it seems to be filled with people who are naturally introverted and quiet. But something I’ve learned in recent months is that it’s so important for me to connect with other writers. I’ve recently joined a closed group of writers (you have to pay to get in, but the value you get just being in the same place as 1,500 other writers is pretty phenomenal). Not only do you learn so much from each other, but you also get to vent about the same things with people who understand.
Don’t become disconnected. Find a writer friend somewhere.
8. Don’t forget the business side of things.
As writers, we don’t like to think about the business side of things, like setting up an email list and having a presence on social media, but the truth is, those things are highly important to our connected world, and we’re going to have to look at them. And if we’re indie authors, there are a ton of other things that we’ll need to embrace in our business. I spend about five hours a week on business stuff, and that’s not nearly enough. So I’ll be making some changes once I meet my word goal for the year.
9. Put your systems in place.
By systems, I mean an editorial schedule for things like submissions and email newsletters and blogs, if you do them. It all depends on what we want to do with the business side of our writing career, but we have to put systems and routines in place that will make it easier to create consistently in the margins of our lives.
Systems also mean things like whatever makes it easy to create quicker and without interruptions. My systems include things like wearing headphones when I’m working and my husband is on duty with the kids, so when the kids accidentally wander into my bedroom (which is often), they see the headphones and know that Mama is working. I also have systems like batching, which means I work on business-related things on Thursdays, and I write fiction on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and I create all my blogs on Mondays and I edit manuscripts and brainstorm new ideas on Fridays.
[Tweet “In order to get the writing done in our short amount of time, we have to create systems.”]
It’s anything but easy to be a parent writer, but it’s most definitely possible. We just have to get into the groove of whatever schedule or routine we’ve worked out for ourselves, and that’s going to take some time. So be patient and kind to yourself. Adjust when you need to. Talk to your partner and kids when you need to.
And most of all, get creating.
