10 Fantastic Old and New Books You Should Read

10 Fantastic Old and New Books You Should Read

by | Books

I read a whole lot of books over many different genres. This year I’ve read 155 old books and new releases so far. This is my list of the best among the best. We’ll do this countdown style.

Number 10

The War that Saved My Life, by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley. The story follows Jamie and Ada Smith, who run away from their cruel mother in the middle of World War II, when cities were getting bombed by the Germans. They find a new home but don’t know if they’ll be able to stay. They are damaged and wounded and scared, and the story is their coming to grips with what being a family means. It was superbly written, with aching emotion and beautiful language.

Number 9

The Argonauts, by Maggie Nelson. This narrative nonfiction book is a love story. It’s a meditation on what it means to be a family, what it means to be male and female. It’s a candid look at gender biases, motherhood, parenthood, the daily moments of life and what it means to be human. Nelson has a very poetic, beautiful style, and though it’s a shortish read, it’s in no way light material. I enjoyed every bit of it.

Number 8

I’m Thinking of Ending Things, by Iain Reid, which is one of the best literary thrillers I’ve ever read. It was a short read, but it was fantastic. I don’t want to give too much away in my summary, so I’ll just say that the book is about a woman taking a trip with her boyfriend, considering the entire drive whether or not she should end things with him. The significance of all her conversations and ruminations will come crashing in once you reach the end of the story. And you won’t be able to reach it fast enough.

Number 7

Mary Karr’s The Liars’ Club. This is a memoir about Karr’s tyrannical grandmother, her mothers’ Nervous condition, the split-up of her parents, their getting back together and on to her father’s death when she was a young woman. It is written honestly and poetically, and one of the things I enjoyed most was Karr’s willingness to admit that her memory might not be entirely perfect, which is true for all of us. She tells the story as she remembers it.

Number 6

Salman Rushdie’s Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights. It’s hard to describe Rushdie’s style. He’s a masterful storyteller. Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights tells the story of the djinn, which were like genies in Arabian and Islamic mythology. But the way that Rushdie told this story was like a history of sorts. You had the feeling that you were reading a true account of how djinnis tried once to overtake the world and failed. It was strange and fantastic.

Number 5

All the Broken Pieces, a young adult novel by Ann E. Burg. This book is about a boy named Matt Pin who comes to live in the states after suffering some of the horrors of the Vietnam War. He carries around scars that he keeps hidden, because they’re shameful and frightening and too horrible to speak aloud. It’s a story full of emotion, beauty and redemption, written in verse.

Number 4

Doll Bones, by Holly Black—one of the creepiest middle grade books I’ve read. Doll Bones follows the story of Zach, Poppy and Alice, who are the kind of friends who play pretend and build elaborate worlds together. When Poppy comes to school claiming that the bone china doll in her mother’s cabinet is made from the bones of an actual little girl who needs to be buried, Zach and Alice grudgingly go on a quest with her. This is an engaging entertaining story with a creepy doll. Enough said.

And here I have to let you know that these next three are pretty much tied in my mind. But for the sake of continuity, I’ve separated them out and assigned them numbers. Just know that they are equally fantastic.

Number 3

Sophie Quire and the Last Storyguard, by Jonathan Auxier, which is the second Peter Nimble adventure from Auxier, is a wonderfully entertaining middle grade book. Sophie Quire is a bookbinder in the city of Bustleburgh, working at her father’s shop, Quire and Quire. She comes upon a mysterious book and sets out on a quest to find the others like it, joined by Peter Nimble, the greatest thief in the history of time, and his sidekick, Sir Tode. It’s written with great description, humor, wisdom and imagination.

Number 2

Kill ‘Em and Leave: Searching for James Brown and the American Soul, by James McBride, a narrative nonfiction book that examines James Brown’s often-fabled life. McBride digs down to the truth of the funk legend and the book is by turns humorous, truthful, smart and probing. McBride nails the prejudice of the south, the life of musicians, and the realities of poverty, and conducts interview with people who best knew Brown and can shed the most light on his vices and victories. It was fascinating and lovely.

Number 1

Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows and I’ll give you a bonus—the sequel, Crooked Kingdom. Both of these young adult books follow six renegades in the city of Ketterdam who attempt heists unlike anything the world has ever seen. Everything about these two books was fantastic. They had the feel of a teenage Oceans 11, set in a fictional world. They were smart, complex and highly entertaining.

I hope you enjoyed these book recommendations. Be sure to pick up a free book from my starter library and visit my recommends page to see some of my favorite books. If you have any books you recently read that you think I’d enjoy, contact me. I always enjoy adding to my list. Even if I never get through it all.

*The above are affiliate links. I only recommend books that I personally enjoy. I actually don’t even talk about the books I don’t enjoy, because I’d rather forget I ever wasted time reading them.

The Best Humble-Bragging Holiday Card Ever

The Best Humble-Bragging Holiday Card Ever

by | Crash Test Parents

Happy Holidays!

I know that you all are secretly wanting to hear from me about my truly exceptional kids, so I decided that this year, instead of a card, I would just send out a Christmas newsletter so I could humble-brag about these boys who really are the most amazing kids ever. I hope you stick around to see how much better I think my kids are than yours.

The family

First, I really have to commend our family. We have left the house three hundred thirty-four times this year, and we have only been late three hundred twenty-six of those. This is quite an accomplishment, believe me. We really are extraordinary. When you can leave the house on time EVEN THOUGH someone decides at the last minute that he needs to go to the potty and then he overflows the toilet, or another one decides he left something critically important in his room and now can’t find it under the massive mountains of clothes he didn’t put away last laundry day, or, God forbid, fifteen of the left shoes are missing, you have made it. You really have.

The 9-year-old

This boy has only had his behavior folder marked “transition trouble” seventy-nine of the eighty days he’s been in school, and he’s been late to school ONLY sixteen times. Something to be proud of, I know. Just this morning he threw his fourteenth LEGO creation in anger, because he couldn’t find the right “brown brick” piece, and “it would be totally ruined without the brown brick piece.” He has “accidentally” broken three pieces of furniture this year by turning flips on it even though he’s twice as big as he used to be back when it was okay.

He’s also learned all of three songs on the piano (taught himself!!!) and plays them incessantly so we’ve all started changing the lyrics for “Pass the Pumpkin All Around” to “God, I really hate this song. I don’t want to sing along, Oooooh, oooooh, let it stop at you.” We are thoroughly proud of this boy, who prefers reading a book to listening to instructions, which makes our house really fun and easy.

The 6-year-old

This boy created a special dance move called “The Hipster,” which is really just a hip thrust with a little bouncing thrown in. I’m pretty sure Elvis Presley might have invented it first, but, you know, we want him to believe he’s unique and special. And he is the admiration of the family when he busts this move. He also started washing the dishes with the dish wand and has only broken five plates this year. A great start to a great dishwashing career, if you ask me. (One of his Christmas presents is going to be a collection of new plates. Don’t tell him!!!)

He has also asked the “How did I get out of your uterus” question twelve times this year and always forgets the answer. Something about it makes it hard to remember. I don’t know. Maybe it’s some Freudian coping mechanism, like “Don’t think about that horrible, jarring, pitch-black passage into the world.” If you do happen to ask and he does happen to remember, he’ll most likely answer “A Fa China passage.” Because we believe in teaching kids biology and the proper names for body parts.

The 5-year-old

This little boy started kindergarten this year, and every single morning (never fails!), he manages to misplace his shoes. It is really quite a mystery. He has somehow mastered the art of not seeing what’s right in front of his face, which, as you can imagine, is a fantastic quality to have. It doesn’t make the morning get-to-school routine any harder to have to drop everything and “find” the shoes that are right beside his feet because he “already looked and can’t find them.” He has also, somehow, managed to lose every shoe of one foot and now walks around with only a left foot. You try it and see if you don’t trip. I’m telling you. Exceptional.

He has also phonetically learned how to spell words like his countrified Nonny says them—sol for saw, mayen for man, mayilk for milk.

3-year-old number 1

Twin 1 has had quite a year. He has ruined fifteen pairs of pants by expertly scooting around on his knees, no matter how many times he’s been told not to do exactly that (great initiative!). He has also ruined four pairs of shoes, because he forgot he left them in the backyard. They got baked in the sun, and now we have four pairs of tie-dyed Converse sneakers. I’m actually super impressed that he learned how to tie dye without even trying. I remember that being a really complicated thing back when I was in elementary school.

This one has also put his shoes on the wrong feet three hundred sixty-four times this year, which has added exactly two minutes and fifteen seconds to our morning routine (not counting the five minutes and twenty-three seconds of arguing about it—“This IS the right foot, Mama.” “No it’s not, buddy.” “YES IT IS!” “Trust me.” “IT IS THE RIGHT FOOT!” [four minutes of the same.] “Okay. Try to walk in them.”). Of the other accomplishments, this is probably the most notable: He learned how to open a gummy vitamin bottle and consumed the entire contents while I was otherwise occupied by a massive blowout diaper, courtesy of his baby brother. He’s never had so much diarrhea before. I know! Another accomplishment for the baby book!

3-year-old number 2

Twin 2 nearly contracted a bacterial infection three times from unauthorized play with the plunger. He can’t help but take this charming toy for a test drive, if it happens to be anywhere near a toilet. Left alone in the bathroom for five seconds? I think I’ll plunge the toilet. Mama’s watching? Brother will distract her while I plunge it. Mama’s upstairs dumping the laundry on the bed? I WILL PLUNGE IT! This typically happens when the toilet water is brown with the most delightful presents, and he proficiently sloshes said water all over the walls. It is quite lovely, as I’m sure you can imagine. Part of his Christmas present will pay for a cleaning service that will dare to touch those walls.

This little boy also figured out how to make gigantic spitballs out of toilet paper rolls and actually get them to stick to the walls and ceiling. He will soon be featured in the Guinness Book of World Records for “Most Annoying 3-year-old.”

The baby

This little guy. He has not thrown up all over himself today, which is quite a feat. This year he also put twenty-seven Happy Baby organic kale and spinach puffs in his right ear before finally, thankfully, mastering the art of feeding himself. He’s only had one major poop blowout, which is saying a whole lot for a Toalson baby.

He also has managed to eat some really impressive things that are ground into our carpet—three-day-old bread, wads of hair, possibly a toenail, old toilet paper that was stuck to someone’s shoe, and a dozen other unclassifiable objects. In a dramatic turn of irony, he’s the only one of us who bypassed the vomit-rocket virus this year, which means he’s likely the healthiest among us. It’s a great case for eating whatever you find on the floor. Or not.

Other random accomplishments

The older three boys are quite gifted in the art of armpit farts. I bet we could even fart “We Wish You A Merry Christmas,” complete with two harmonies, but we’re saving that for our Christmas card next year.

I’m sure you can see why I’m so proud of my brilliant boys. But the real reason I’m telling you all this is to show you that Husband and I really rocked our parenting this year. We only yelled two hundred fifty-seven times, and we only said, “I tap out” every other day, and we only complained about the maddening things our kids do for about four hours of every day. That’s saying a whole lot, and I think we deserve a congratulations!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your not-as-exceptional-as-mine family. And may your new year be as noteworthy as my old year was.

This is an excerpt from Parenthood: Has Anyone Seen My Sanity?, the first in the Crash Test Parents humor series. For more essays on parenting humor and real life living with kids (including a couple of guides you can get for free), visit the Crash Test Parents Reader Library page.

(Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash)

The Danger and Delight of Practicing Gratitude

The Danger and Delight of Practicing Gratitude

by | Wing Chair Musings

Every night around our dinner table, Husband and I ask a few questions of our boys, but the most important one, in our opinion, is this one: What are you thankful for today?

We do this because we want to teach our children the practice of gratitude.

Gratitude is a way of turning every bad situation into a good one. If you know me personally, you might know—although I tend to hide it well—that I’m kind of a glass-half-full kind of person. If it comes down to hope or not hope, I’ll always choose hope, but my anxiety sometimes makes it difficult to embrace every situation in my life with gratitude. That’s why the practice of gratitude has become so important to me.

We get into funks, and I know I’m not alone in this. We can go days, maybe even weeks or months, and all we can see is the negative—this isn’t going to pan out, why am I even trying that, the kids are never going to give me a break.

Sometimes, as Husband likes to tell me, this kind of thinking can create reality. That’s because it’s all a matter of focus. If we’re focused on the negative, negative is all we’ll see. If we’re focused on the positive, positive is mostly what we’ll see.

[Tweet “If we focus on the negative, it’s what we’ll see. If we focus on the positive, it’s what we’ll see.”]

So gratitude is important for our family, because I have a couple of sons who share my amazing ability to lean toward the negative when an undesirable situation presents itself. Practicing gratitude around our dinner table helps us take a disappointing day and stamp it as wonderful, great, spectacular. Or maybe just a little bit better.

When gratitude becomes a danger is when you have a kid who’s had a really great day. His gratitude list might go on forever and ever.

This has happened to us before. Our second son is a glass-mostly-full kind of guy, and he will find thanks in everything. Which is wonderful. And also the slightest bit dangerous, considering we might be tethered to the dinner table for a good part of the evening (and we have many other things to do!).

One night around dinner, he listed as his gratitudes: Mama doing the dishes, his brothers cleaning up his shoes, his teacher for assigning homework he could do in five minutes, his daddy for cooking a yummy dinner, his socks for keeping his feet warm, the dirt out back for making a really nice pile, his baby brother for tossing him a ball, the trampoline for helping him perfect his double air flip, and on and on it went. By the time he was finished, no one had anything else to say. He’s listened every thankful possible, and we just agreed.

It’s also delightful when you have a kid like this—because doing the dishes? That’s definitely not my favorite thing to do. But he will regularly thank me for washing his plate so that he can have breakfast tomorrow. This does wonders for a parents self esteem and persistence.

It’s not easy to name our gratitude for every moment. Some moments are really, really hard. But as we practice, as we make this a consistent lens for the way we see the world, we’ll find that it becomes easier and easier even in the moments that seem like they can’t be redeemed for anything good.

Gratitude—not just for things but for people—has the power to change the world. Who can we thank today? What can we list as our thankful, which will pivot our focus? How might we improve our homes, our relationships, our communities with the practice of gratitude?

[Tweet “Gratitude has the power to change the world. Let’s practice it until the world explodes with light.”]

I hope you’ve enjoyed this inside look at my life and how gratitude might change the world. Every Friday, I publish a short blog on something personal that includes a valuable takeaway. For more of my essays and memoir writings, visit Wing Chair Musings.

How to Become an Expert in Your Genre

How to Become an Expert in Your Genre

by | This Writer Life

I write in a lot of different genres, and for a while I thought that meant I couldn’t quite become an expert in any of them. But then I started breaking down what it really means to be an expert. We can all become experts in whatever we want to, but it is not without hard work, dedication, and a dogged persistence that will carry you through the give-up days.

But first, let’s consider why we might want to become an expert in the first place.

Becoming an expert means many things:

  • It means you can write a story in a shorter amount of time.
  • It means that when an idea for a novel or an essay comes to you, you have the tools within you to envision the shape it will take in your brain (which is actually very deliberate practice).
  • It means that you can spot problems with your story and fix them.
  • It means that you will write better stories.
  • It means that your audience will recognize that you write better stories.
  • It means that you will sell more books and reach more people.

Expertise is a bit of a slippery term in the first place. What is expertise? Who decides when you’ve become an expert? How do you really know yourself?

Expertise is defined as the expert skill or knowledge in a particular field. So probably the most telling way you can know whether you’re an expert or not is by asking the question: Have I worked to acquire expert skill or knowledge in the field of writing?

If the answer is no, get started. If the answer is yes, don’t quit. We can always improve. So don’t ever stop trying.

In my analysis of how writers might become experts, I’ve identified five strategies. I’ll be talking about each of these five strategies in more depth at a later time, but for now, I’d encourage you to get started with each of these:

1. Read craft books vigorously.

I have a whole book shelf dedicated to writing craft books—probably more than 100 books. Some of them have been better than others, but I’ve learned something from each one of them.

Some of them have to do with writing children’s literature, some have to do with writing better descriptions, some have to do with crafting better settings, some have to do with telling better stories, some have to do with writing personal essays or narrative nonfiction or poetry.

There are so many writing craft books out there, for every genre. Pick one up for your genre and start reading. What you learn will change the way you tell stories.

[Tweet “To become an expert writer, read craft books vigorously. We can always learn and improve.”]

2. Study books in your genre.

There’s a secret among the literary realm, something that has been passed down from generation to generation, and it is the power of reading books. When you read books that are specific to your genre, you inherently absorb the techniques and structure of that genre. When you read many, many books—say 500, which is generally accepted as the number of books you should read to become an expert in your genre—writing those kinds of books becomes second nature.

Some people say they don’t like to read in their genre because they’re afraid their story will too closely mimic another one. That’s not a valid concern, it’s just an excuse. Read in your genre. Take notes about your genre, and you will find yourself writing better books faster.

[Tweet “To become an expert writer, study books in your genre. Take notes on techniques. Absorb.”]

3. Practice.

Do the work.

But in order for practice to be effective, you must practice deliberately. That means you must have measure of competency. Don’t just write books as your practice. Practice particular sections of books—like descriptions of a house or dialogue or characterization. Measure your progress. Take notes on what’s hard and what isn’t and then practice more of the hard.

[Tweet “To become an expert writer, practice what’s hard for you until it becomes easy.”]

4. Analyze yourself for weaknesses and then purposefully fix them.

This is not an easy thing to do, but it’s necessary. When I noticed that the settings in my stories could use a little work, I grabbed all the craft books on writing better settings that I could find.

Most of these craft books have exercises in them. I did the exercises. I took a notebook with me wherever I went, so I could write down a description of a place. I now have a “settings” notebook where my observations are listed. I don’t plan to ever stop this, because we only get better with purposeful practice.

[Tweet “To become an expert writer, analyze your weaknesses and purposefully fix them.”]

5. Find a teacher.

We often can’t progress past a certain point without the help of an expert.

I have big plans for This Writer Life, and one of them is to release some courses on every part of the writing and publishing process. I’d like to become a legitimate creative writing school that everybody—not just those who have it in their budget—can attend.

I want to teach people how to write more than 2 million words in one year like I did this year. I want to teach them how to write more than 5,000 words an hour. I want to teach them how to win a poetry contest.

I have plans for some rigorous writing courses in the future that will challenge and improve writers from the moment of idea conception to the moment they publish.

I say all this not so you’ll necessarily look to me as your teacher. I hope you will, of course. But a teacher can be a colleague in the writing world. A teacher can be a mentor or a friend. A teacher can be yourself, if you’re persistent and dedicated enough to do all the above, consistently, persistently and relentlessly.

[Tweet “To become an expert writer, find a good teacher and study hard.”]

Week’s prompt

Write as much as you can, in whatever form you want, on the following word:

Towels