by Rachel Toalson | Stuff Crash Test Kids say
High Aspirations
Asa (4): What’s College?
Mama: It’s where you go to keep learning.
Daddy: It’s like school except you have to pay for it.
Asa: Bah! I’m never going to college
later in the conversation
Hosea (4): I’m going to live at home for-evaaaah
What are you trying to say?
We hear a rumble that shakes the earth.
Mama: “Wow. What was that?”
Boaz (2) “The trash man.”
Mama: “Maybe.”
Hosea (4): “I think it was Daddy.”
Super fast, super smart
Hosea: “Spiders are really slow. I’m super fast.”
Mama: “So you could outrun a spider?”
Hosea: “Yeah.”
Jadon (8): “But you couldn’t outrun a tsunami.”
Just a typical dinner conversation
Mama: “Wow! Everybody has gas tonight!”
Hosea: “Sometimes I have so much gas I get boogers in my nose. And I get them all out in the daytime, and I don’t know how, but they come back while I’m sleeping.”
No one likes whining. Except someone does.
Mama: “Thank you for doing your lesson, Hosea. Next time do you think you could do it without whining?”
Hosea: “No.”
Me: “Why not?”
Hosea: “Because I like whining.”
We’re confused about chores
Mama: “What were your jobs last week?”
Jadon: “Tooting in people’s faces so they laugh really hard.”
We’ve got prayer time covered
Jadon: “Dear God, please help all the endangered animals and help my family have a good time tomorrow. Oh, and please let Mama have more brothers and sisters.”
Asa (5): “Dear God, please help all the dangerous stuffed animals, and please heal all the women who are sick.”
by Rachel Toalson | Stuff Crash Test Kids say
A Blanket Made of Hair
Mama: “What do you have in your mouth, Zadok?”
Zadok (2): “Hair.”
Mama: “Why are you chewing on my hair?”
Hosea: “I like hair.”
Mama: “I know. You used to chew on my hair when you were little.”
Hosea: “Will you make me a blanket out of your hair, Mama?”
Ummmm….CREEPY.
Toilet Delivery
Hosea (4), playing with toys: “Who can bring me a potty?”
Mama: “You need to go potty?”
Hosea: “Yeah. But I don’t want to walk.”
Back in the 1940s
Hosea: Is that Adam and Eve? Ewe they’re naked.
Asa: That’s because back in 1940 they had nothing!
Precision of Language
Talking with the oldest about his Star Wars Lego starship, which launches missiles.
Mama: “How does it work again?”
Jadon (8): “Oh. You just run your hand swiftly across the bottom.”
That’s the kind of vocabulary that comes from reading a lot.
by Rachel Toalson | General Blog, Stuff Crash Test Kids say
We’ve got a couple of stories to share with you today:
“I’m Batman!” “I am Groot.”
First, I have become a fan of a YouTube video channel called “How it Should Have Ended” or HISHE for short. They recently put out a video for Guardians of the Galaxy which I showed to our 2 year old twin boys. They really enjoyed it, especially this part:
So they did this for the rest of the day:
Almond Joy Fib
This is a first for Hosea (4). He had just gotten a treat (from his leftover Halloween candy) after finishing his dinner. We watched as he unwrapped and devoured a fun-sized Almond Joy candy bar. I saw him walk over to the trash can, drop the wrapper in and walk back to the table. Apparently, after considering how delicious this treat was and how much he’d really like to have another one, he decided to try something.
Hosea: “Can I have my after dinner treat now?”
Mama: “Didn’t you already have your treat?”
Hosea: “No, I haven’t had one yet.”
Mama: “But we saw you holding the Almond Joy candy bar.”
Daddy: “Yea, I even helped you unwrap it.”
Hosea: “I put it back in the wrapper and put it in the bag.”
Daddy: “Did you really?”
Hosea: “Yea, it’s in my candy bag, so can I have a treat?”
Daddy (Looking down into the bag): “Hosea, I don’t see the Almond Joy wrapper in there. Are you sure you put it back?”
Hosea: “I did put it back, it’s just dark at the bottom of the bag.”
Daddy: I can still see the other pieces. I don’t see it in there.”
Hosea: “Well, I put it back so can I pick another treat?”
Daddy: “I thought I saw you throw the wrapper away in the trash. If I look in the trash will I see it?”
Hosea: “No.”
Daddy (After picking up the empty wrapper from the trash): Here it is Hosea. You’ve already had your treat.”
Hosea: “Ooooh. I put it in the trash and the chocolate fell out into the trash. You can’t see it now. Can I have a treat?”
No treats were awarded after this exchange. We did our best to explain to him in terms he could understand why honesty is so important. You’ve got to hand it to him for staying so committed though.
by Rachel Toalson | Stuff Crash Test Kids say
My First Day of Dying
After a few minutes and some unsavory noises on the toilet, Asa (5): “Well, I guess this is my first day of dying.
I Forgot
Asa: “I’m sad. Wait…what was I sad about?”
Hosea (4): “That you couldn’t open the lid.”
Asa: “Ooohhhhh, yeah.”
4-year-old Prejudice
Hosea: “I hope baby Asher doesn’t come out with curly hair.”
Mama: “Why?”
Hosea: “I don’t like people with curly hair.”
Me: “Well, Daddy has curly hair.”
Hosea: “It’s only a little bit curly. I don’t like people with really curly hair.”
Zombies in the House
Asa: “We can only scream outside.”
Hosea (4): “Unless zombies are chasing you inside.”
Survival advice, y’all.
Look to Me in My Eyeball
Me: “Jadon, I need you to look in my eyes. This is important.”
Jadon (7): (eyes move to me, then flick toward the door, then back to me, then back to the door.)
Me: “Jadon, look at my face.”
Jadon: (Flick. Flick. Flick.)
Me: “Jadon, I really need you to keep your eyes fixed on my face.”
Jadon: (eyes wide and white-filled like a crazy person. Flick. Flick. Flick.)
Me: “What are you doing, Jadon?”
Jadon: “I’m trying to look at you with one eye and at the door with the other. Is it working?”
We Know How to Listen
Me: “How can you show someone you’re listening to them?”
Jadon: “Look at them.”
Asa: “I don’t know. You want to see my belly?”
Not Listening Can Be Dangerous
Jadon: “Not listening can be bad. Like if your parent told you not to jump off a mountain and you did it, that would be not listening.”
