I saw him at the table, spacing out.
“What are you doing?” I said.
“Thinking about your book cover,” he said.
“Oh yeah?” I said, trying not to show my excitement; I’ve been asking him to design this cover for a while now.
He slid his sketchbook toward me, and I saw the beginnings of a perfect cover.
This is the way it normally happens: I catch Husband in a trance, he sketches, he asks my opinion, which is always ill-informed, and he designs what he wants anyway (even though I rarely have anything at all to say about a cover except vague things like, “I’m not sure I like that color,” and when he asks me what color I’d like instead, I shrug. I’m the best client ever.).
I am fortunate enough to be married to a man who is skilled at many things, including book cover design. For the Crash Test Parents series, which is a collection of books filled with humor essays, he always starts with some kind of caricature of our family and tailors that to the content of the book.
These are like digital markers of how our family has grown up and changed.
This particular cover exemplifies beautifully some of the hills Husband and I have decided to lie down on: kids being rowdy, kids fighting one another, kids tattling, kids playing chase in the house. There are many mishaps parents can focus on in a day—and I’ve found that there are much more important things than these, as crazy as they may make me feel during any random hour.
So this cover, for me, feels perfect—because not only does it depict my entire family, all these people I love, in a scene that depicts their personality, but it also includes a white surrender flag.
It says, I surrender.
It says, It’s okay to surrender.
It says, I’m so glad I surrender.
In the forefront, Husband drew our twins, chasing each other through the house, likely because of some toy one wants and the other doesn’t want to hand over. What you can’t see is what will likely happen next: one of them will trip over something and the other will crash into something, and both will start wail-crying, blaming the other.
There’s also my third son, tattling, which he loves to do, and, to the left, my first and second son, boxing. Again, you don’t see what will likely happen which is this: the oldest will get his feelings hurt because he wasn’t actually trying to box, he was just pretending.
And hanging from my arm is my youngest, who can hang as long as he wants, because he’s the baby and it’s no secret that he’s spoiled.
Not the least of all these wonderful elements is the expression on Husband’s face and the one on my face. He looks apologetic; I look resigned—which is usually the case (he is, after all, the one who is responsible for all these boys).
A perfect book cover, if I ever saw one.
More info about the book
Hills I’ll Probably Lie Down On will release Aug. 14 from Batlee Press. This is the fourth full-length humor book in the Crash Test Parents series.
Blurb
Choose your battles.
It’s sage advice. But most parents, before becoming parents, don’t have a clue just how many battles kids will place in front of them with seemingly endless energy to engage. Choose your battles becomes a life-saving measure when one has kids. Knowing when to stand your ground and when to lie down is imperative in the face of such admirable yet aggravating persistence.
From the voice behind the popular Crash Test Parents blog comes a brand new collection of comical essays about the challenges and joys of parenting. With measured wit and eloquence, Rachel exposes the universal challenges of leaving the house with kids, traveling with kids, putting kids to bed, eating with kids, and, largely, daily life lived with kids.
About the author
Rachel Toalson is the author of Parenthood: Has Anyone Seen my Sanity?, The Life-Changing Madness of Tidying Up After Children, This Life With Boys, and a handful of poetry books. She lives with her husband and six rowdy boys in San Antonio, Texas.
Excerpt
For excerpts from Hills I’ll Probably Lie Down On, see one or all of the following:
Child Leashes Save Lives and Sanity
The Fastest Way to Go Insane: Try Working From Home With Your Kids Around
(Above photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash)
