Recent Articles
One Thing I Know for Sure About Kids: They’re Always Hungry
It used to be “I love you.” My boys used to say those words all the time, every time they saw me. They would come and kiss me and lay their head on me and wrap their arms around me and whisper the words in my ear, and I would melt every time. Or maybe that’s just how...
‘You Don’t Know Anything About Star Wars’
5-year-old: Well, I guess Asa has to stay home today. 3-year-old #1: Yeah, because he has a throat. 3-year-old #2: No, he throwed up. 3-year-old #1: Yeah, he throwed up because he ate the oatmeal Mama cooked. 5-year-old: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? 5-year-old:...
A Dad is Not Babysitter or a Helper. He’s a Parent.
I have to get something off my chest for a minute. And it’s kind of a big something. So I’m sorry for the rant. But we live in a messy WORLD, too, not just a messy world. You know what would be nice? It would be nice to live in a world where men didn’t get pushed up...
‘Dear God, Please Help Us Stop Tooting.’
5-year-old: Mama! I have something really important to tell you. Me: Well, I'm working. 5-year-old: Just real quick. Me: Ok. 5-year-old [singing]: Batman's in the kitchen, Robin's in the hall, Joker's in the bathroom, peeing on the wall!" Me: 5-year-old: Me:...
Dear Concerned Reader: Yes, These Are All My Kids.
“The hardest part of being a Mother is when they become adults and cut your heart to pieces.” “Wait until they’re teenagers. Then you’ll have something to complain about.” “Oh, please. Mothering isn’t hard until they get to the teens.” -I Have it Worst Dear I Have it...
I See London, I See France, Go Put On Some Underpants
Last night I dressed my 10-month-old in Star Wars pajamas and set him in a little kid chair, and I snapped a picture of him, because he was so happy and it was so stinking cute. And then I posted the picture on my social media sites today, because, like I said, it was...
‘I Would Eat a Worm for Only 6 Dollars’ and the How Do Babies Come Out Talk
6-year-old: Sometimes I can't get my poop out of my...uhhhh.... 5-year-old: Booty crack? 6-year-old: No, my uhhhh.... Me: Colon? 6-year-old: No. My...uhhh...oh! My sphincter! 3-year-old: Daddy, you have a penis. Husband: Yeah. 3-year-old: I have a penis. Husband: Yes....
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