Recent Articles
Things Kids Will Never Understand
The other day I was trying to put my 3-year-old in the car, and we were in a hurry, because I wanted to get to the grocery store and back before it was time for their lunch, since you definitely DO NOT want to be caught out in public when two headstrong 3-year-olds...
When Kids Discover the Entertainment of Spitballs
It’s not just that this bathroom smells like a swamp. It’s also that there is always mud in the sink, from boys playing out back in the pit I told them to “not get in or else,” and, of course, they thought they’d try their hand at the “or else,” because mud and boys...
‘Dying is Definitely Not Awesome.’
Husband: What is something you enjoy about being in a big family? 8-year-old: Not having a lot of attention? Me: Wait. You enjoy that? 8-year-old: I was being sarcastic. Watching something on TV when you guys try to clean. Me: Husband: 8-year-old: That's what I enjoy...
Cinder-Mama is a Real Person. She is Me.
You know that scene in Cinderella where she’s in the kitchen trying to get things ready for the day, and on the wall there’s this collection of bells ringing incessantly, signaling that people who are depending on her (mostly because they’re lazy) need things? Every...
What It’s Like Having More Than One Kid
It used to be so easy. It used to be that when we put something away, it stayed put away. It used to be that I could control the crawling space where my kid would scrutinize every piece of lint or dirt or dropped food, and there was nothing because HE WAS THE ONLY ONE. […]
The Twisted Song Lyrics of Boys
Katy Perry's "Firework:" Baby you're a wheel of death You have stinky breath You make me go "Ew ew ew That smells like poo poo poo Capital Cities' "Safe and Sound:" I can throw you up I can throw up on the toilet seat and toot like a birdie tweet You can be my luck...
How My Boys Try and Fail to Use ‘The Force’
Husband and my older boys have lately been trying to cram in some viewings of old Star Wars movies before the new one comes out. It’s important, Husband says, to introduce them to Luke and Yoda and Hans and, most of all, The Force. I see his point. I mean, I remember...
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