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The Twisted Song Lyrics of Boys
Katy Perry's "Firework:" Baby you're a wheel of death You have stinky breath You make me go "Ew ew ew That smells like poo poo poo Capital Cities' "Safe and Sound:" I can throw you up I can throw up on the toilet seat and toot like a birdie tweet You can be my luck...
How My Boys Try and Fail to Use ‘The Force’
Husband and my older boys have lately been trying to cram in some viewings of old Star Wars movies before the new one comes out. It’s important, Husband says, to introduce them to Luke and Yoda and Hans and, most of all, The Force. I see his point. I mean, I remember...
So. You Think You Want a Baby?
I know, I know. They’re so cute and cuddly. The first time they smile and the first time they say your name and the first time they reach toward you and you know you’re surely and certainly loved, even without words, those are the best moments of life. The best moments of baby. It’s just […]
‘I Volunteer to Eat That.’
Me [holding up something indistinguishable. Is it food? Trash? A little of both?]: What in the world is this? Husband: I'm not really sure. 8-year-old: I volunteer to eat that. Me: Husband: 8-year-old: Me: Nope. 6-year-old: Mama, will you sign me up for soccer? Me:...
On How Kids Destroy Every Toy They Own
Six boys produce a lot of destruction around my house. Everywhere I look, there are nicks in bookshelves and unintended holes in the walls from errant hands or fingers or just curiosity, and there are cracked toilet lids and pictures frames that have no more glass and...
The Unending Challenges of Laundry
So there’s laundry. And then there’s putting laundry away. One of these things doesn’t happen in our house.
The Boy’s Excuse for Being Late to Dinner
Husband: Where were you? It's time for dinner. 6-year-old: I was getting my brother. Husband: But your brother got in here five minutes ago. What were you doing for the other five minutes? 6-year-old: Staring at this girl. Husband: 6-year-old: Husband: Well. Me: What...
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