Stuff Crash Test Kids Say

5-year-old: [home sick from school.] I DON'T NEED A NAP. [five minutes later, snapped the picture above.] Me: You're going to be late again. 8-year-old: Well, you should have gotten me out of bed sooner. Me: Well, I wanted you to get the most sleep you possibly could...

8-year-old: Mama, what is this? [holding a cassette recording of The Hobbit.] Me: I think they call that a cassette tape. 8-year-old: I've never even seen one of these before! It's like from ancient times! Me: 8-year-old: Me: 8-year-old: Did you listen to these when...

Husband: Does Mama know what you do at all times? 3-year-old: No. Husband: Yes. Mama always knows. Mama knows everything and sees everything. 5-year-old: If we tell someone a secret, will Mama hear it? Husband: 5-year-old: Husband: Yes. Me: Before you go outside to...

CD: What kind of animal should you not play cards with? ... CD: A cheetah! 5-year-old: Yeah! Because he would eat us! Me: ... Husband: You now have an extra chore, because you got down from the table without permission. 8-year-old: Oooohhhh. Looks like you lost your...

I like to show my muscles (See picture above) Asa (6): "I'm just wearing my vest, because you can see my muscles." Me: "..." The ultimate laziness Jadon (8): "They should make a bed with a toilet in it. Then I could go to sleep with no underwear on, and if I needed to...

That's because you're an alien Jadon (8): "Real moms and dads don't give their kids chores after dinner." Mama: "Huh. That's weird. I guess Nonny wasn't a real mom, because I had to do dishes after dinner all the time when I was a kid." Jadon: "That's because you're...

What I've been wondering my whole life Asa (5): "Mama, there are some things I've been wondering my whole life. Like, since I was 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5." Mama: "Oh yeah? What's that?" Asa: "I've been wondering where bites come from and how they make bumps on you....