Stuff Crash Test Kids Say
I’m Coming to Kill You
I'm Coming To Kill You Hosea (4) in a sing-song voice: "Spiiiider... I'm coming to kiiill you." GET FIRED!!! Asa (5): "You should quit all of your jobs and just spend time with us." Daddy: "We would love that!" Hosea (chanting): "GET FIRED! GET FIRED! GET FIRED!" Big...
I’m Going to Live At Home For-Evaaaaah
High Aspirations Asa (4): What’s College? Mama: It’s where you go to keep learning. Daddy: It’s like school except you have to pay for it. Asa: Bah! I’m never going to college later in the conversation Hosea (4): I’m going to live at home for-evaaaah What are you...
A Blanket Made of Hair
A Blanket Made of Hair Mama: "What do you have in your mouth, Zadok?" Zadok (2): "Hair." Mama: "Why are you chewing on my hair?" Hosea: "I like hair." Mama: "I know. You used to chew on my hair when you were little." Hosea: "Will you make me a blanket out of your...
Special Edition – I’m Batman and the Almond Joy Fib
We've got a couple of stories to share with you today: "I'm Batman!" "I am Groot." First, I have become a fan of a YouTube video channel called "How it Should Have Ended" or HISHE for short. They recently put out a video for Guardians of the Galaxy which I showed to...
My First Day of Dying
My First Day of Dying After a few minutes and some unsavory noises on the toilet, Asa (5): "Well, I guess this is my first day of dying. I Forgot Asa: "I'm sad. Wait...what was I sad about?" Hosea (4): "That you couldn't open the lid." Asa: "Ooohhhhh, yeah."...