Stuff Crash Test Kids Say

I’m Coming to Kill You

I'm Coming To Kill You Hosea (4) in a sing-song voice: "Spiiiider... I'm coming to kiiill you." GET FIRED!!! Asa (5): "You should quit all of your jobs and just spend time with us." Daddy: "We would love that!" Hosea (chanting): "GET FIRED! GET FIRED! GET FIRED!" Big...

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I’m Going to Live At Home For-Evaaaaah

High Aspirations Asa (4): What’s College? Mama: It’s where you go to keep learning. Daddy: It’s like school except you have to pay for it. Asa: Bah! I’m never going to college later in the conversation Hosea (4): I’m going to live at home for-evaaaah What are you...

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A Blanket Made of Hair

A Blanket Made of Hair Mama: "What do you have in your mouth, Zadok?" Zadok (2): "Hair." Mama: "Why are you chewing on my hair?" Hosea: "I like hair." Mama: "I know. You used to chew on my hair when you were little." Hosea: "Will you make me a blanket out of your...

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My First Day of Dying

My First Day of Dying After a few minutes and some unsavory noises on the toilet, Asa (5): "Well, I guess this is my first day of dying. I Forgot Asa: "I'm sad. Wait...what was I sad about?" Hosea (4): "That you couldn't open the lid." Asa: "Ooohhhhh, yeah."...

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