5-year-old: Mama! I have something really important to tell you.
Me: Well, I’m working.
5-year-old: Just real quick.
Me: Ok.
5-year-old [singing]: Batman’s in the kitchen, Robin’s in the hall, Joker’s in the bathroom, peeing on the wall!”
Me:
5-year-old:
Me:
5-year-old: What? He’s a bad guy.
6-year-old: Dear God, thank you for the day and for my baby brother I love so much, and please help us stop tooting, because it really smells. Amen.
Me:
6-year-old:
Me: I second that.
[Kids losing their minds.]
Husband: Why can’t we just have fun at Family Time?
9-year-old: Because we talk too much.
Husband:
9-year-old:
Husband: I’m glad you’re so smart.
Me: Are you having another glass of wine?
Husband: Just a little more.
6-year-old: It looks like you’re turning drunk.
Me:
Husband:
6-year-old: What does drunk mean?
9-year-old: Mama, if there was a boy who lied all the time in an orphanage and there was me, who would you choose?
Me: Is this a trick question?
9-year-old: No.
Me: Well, of course I would choose you.
9-year-old: Ha.
[5 minutes later, singing the same song he’s been singing all afternoon.]
Me: Wait, can I change my answer?
Husband: Alright, tonight’s Advent activity is to tell Zadok why you love him.
6-year-old: I love Zadok, because he’s easy to take down.
Husband: That’s not exactly–
9-year-old: I love him because he’s a good punching bag.
Husband: Wait–
5-year-old: I love him because he’s so annoying.
Husband:
Me:
Husband:
Me: Well, we’ve come a long way since last year. At least there’s that.
