Husband: What is something you enjoy about being in a big family?
8-year-old: Not having a lot of attention?
Me: Wait. You enjoy that?
8-year-old: I was being sarcastic. Watching something on TV when you guys try to clean.
Me:
Husband:
8-year-old: That’s what I enjoy about being in a big family.
6-year-old: I would rearrange our whole living room.
Me: Oh yeah?
6-year-old: I would put the couch here and the loveseat here and the big chair here.
Me:
6-year-old: And then, in our kitchen, I would put the table here and—Wait. Did we win that? [pointing to the dishwasher.]
Husband: No, buddy. That came with the house. We’ve had it for nine years.
6-year-old:
Husband:
6-year-old: Huh.
5-year-old: What’s 10 plus 10 plus 10 plus 10 plus 10 plus 10?
6-year-old: I DON’t KNOW! There can’t be that many—wait. Thirty!
Me:
6-year-old:
Me:
6-year-old: I’m really good at math. That’s how I know.
6-year-old: We’re not twins.
Me [Singing]: Everything is awesome!
6-year-old: Actually, everything isn’t awesome. Death isn’t awesome.
Me:
6-year-old:
Me:
6-year-old: Death is definitely NOT awesome.
