We can learn a lot from kids. But sometimes their teaching is hit or miss. Like in the example below, which are all lessons I’ve learned from my kids.
How to put on your shoes:
1. Try for 10 seconds.
2. Cry.
3. Throw the shoe.
4. Ask your mom.
Lesson learned from: a 3-year-old in velcro shoes.
How to break your camera
1. Take it to the zoo.
2. Don’t listen when your parents say, “You should put it in your pocket.”
3. Drop it.
Lesson learned from: the 9-year-old who likes to do things his own way…and reap the consequences (well, he doesn’t like that part so much.)
How to sweep a floor
1. Get the broom.
2. Wave it around at the ceiling.
3. Hit a light.
4. Done. (Now your dad has to sweep up the glass.)
Lesson learned from: the 9-year-old who either didn’t hear us telling him to stop swinging the broom or who thought it really wouldn’t hurt to defy our instructions.
How to drive someone crazy
1. Tell them to “guess what.”
2. Make them actually guess.
3. Seriously, don’t tell them the answer until they guess.
Lesson learned from: the 7-year-old, who is a master at the guessing game, because there are no clues.
How to have a serious conversation:
1. Look at the person.
2. Pretend you’re listening.
3. Do whatever you want anyway.
Lesson learned from: a stubborn 4-year-old.
How to find a missing shoe
1. Stand in your room.
2. Look at the walls.
3. Complain that you don’t see them anywhere.
4. Ask a parent.
Lesson learned from: the 5-year-old who must have something wrong with his eyes.
How to flush a toilet:
1. Unload your bowels.
2. Forget to flush.
3. Tell your parent it smells gross in the house.
4. Totally don’t get the irony.
Lesson learned from: five potty-trained boys.
How to talk quietly
1. Yell.
2. Keep yelling until someone says use your inside voice.
3. Use your “inside voice” to yell and tell them this is your inside voice.
4. Keep yelling.
Lesson learned from: both 4-year-olds. Their whisper is also a yell. I’ve never heard anyone whisper so loudly.
How to read a book
1. Open.
2. Read.
3. Remember you’re hungry.
4. Put the book down.
5. Eat five pounds of bananas.
6. Forget about the book.
Lesson learned from: the 7-year-old who doesn’t know when to stop.
How to cook a dinner they’ll all like
1. Just order pizza.
Lesson learned from: six boys complaining about what’s for dinner before they’ve even tried it.
