5-year-old: Daddy, I want a hug and a kiss!
Husband: Come to our room, then.
5-year-old: No. I stepped on a Lego in there.
9-year-old: I’m getting fat
Me: I don’t think you’ll ever get fat.
6-year-old: Yeah, like daddy.
Husband: What, you mean like daddy doesn’t get fat?
9-year-old: No, like I’ll never be fat like you.
Husband: I can’t believe you’re not full.
Me: I know. I’ve had one bowl and a little chicken and I’m full.
5-year-old: I’ve had four bowls!
Target Guy: In the future, you can go ahead and order in advance, and we’ll have it waiting for you when you get here.
6-year-old:
Husband: Okay.
6-year-old [tugging on Husband’s sleeve, eyes wide, mouth slack]: Daddy, are we living in the future?
J: we went to the counselor today a policeman came to talk. I told him I could fight he said I couldn’t fight a big guy like him. I told him I was overeating to gain weight he said that was good.
