Any time I’ve asked my children why they love me, I’m always surprised by their answers. I mistakenly think they’ll tie my love to the things I give them or the places I take them or the time I spend with them doing complicated things (like crafting with glitter).
But it’s really much simpler than that.
1. I cook.
Because they love to eat so much, boys can feel love through food. While I don’t always cook and, when I do, it’s not always wonderful, they know I do the grocery shopping and the meal planning and that I provide or cook the most important part: dessert.
2. I read to them.
My sons have grown up on stories, and while they may not yet be able to recognize how important this is for them, they do know the joy of sharing novels, poetry, and true stories with their parents.
Last year I gifted my 9-year-old with a kid’s literary magazine for his birthday. He thought it was the greatest gift ever and tells me so every time a new issue comes in the mail.
I know him—and he knows that knowing equals love.
3. I let them play outside.
I think they mean I make them play outside, but who’s splitting hairs over unimportant things? They know they have the freedom to sword fight with sticks, build forts out of lumber, and dig holes for…well, who knows what (we gave up asking a long time ago).
4. I sign their school folders.
Most of the time—at least until the second semester of school starts and/or my pen disappears, whichever comes first.
(This year we made it to the second semester.)
5. I’m an author.
My sons are still too young to be embarrassed by my status as an author. I’ve visited two of their schools already this year, and they are still proud enough to come up to me and give me a hug in front of their friends, to say, “This is my mom.” I like to think they’ll never stop loving this about me, but I know adolescence takes its toll.
My sons are remarkable kids, and I am amazed, always, by their graciousness and caring ways and their extravagant love. Even on their less-than-stellar days, when they call me the worst mom ever for telling them it’s time to put their technological devices away, they can recognize, deep down, the way I love them in the limits I set.
Stability spells love to children—even if they can’t yet name it but can only feel it.
(Photo by This is Now Photography)
