I like to show my muscles
(See picture above)
Asa (6): “I’m just wearing my vest, because you can see my muscles.”
Me: “…”
The ultimate laziness
Jadon (8): “They should make a bed with a toilet in it. Then I could go to sleep with no underwear on, and if I needed to pee in the middle of the night, I could just do it.”
Me: “…”
(He’s on the top bunk with a ceiling fan that could karate chop his head if he forgets about it. I’ll cut him some slack.)
No, I don’t want to ride a bike
Husband: “Okay! Who wants to ride their bikes out front?”
All the kids: “Not me!”
Me: “Oh, come on, guys. Don’t you want to practice riding your bikes?”
Asa (6): “NO! WE’RE SCOOTER RIDERS.”
Me: “…”
(He was genuinely upset, because scooter riders don’t mix with bike riders, apparently.)
A great simile or a weird one?
Boaz (3): “My throat feels like salad.”
Me: “…”
I not hungry
Boaz: “Mama, I hungry.”
Me: “Nice to meet you, hungry.”
Boaz: “NO! I NOT HUNGRY, I BOAZ!”
Me: “…”
Boaz: “I hungry.”
They’re like weapon magnets
(The twins are making noise on the back deck)
Husband: “I don’t even want to see what they’re playing with right now.”
Me: “Just look. Make sure it’s nothing bad.” (I’m feeding the baby. So it’s his responsibility.)
Husband: “Oh, dang. The recycling bin is on its side. They have old milk cartons. They’re using them to sword fight.”
Me: “That’s not too bad.”
Husband: “Wait. Those milk cartons were rinsed out, right? Because now they’re drinking whatever’s inside.”
Me: “…”
