Christmas this year is a continuation of what is becoming a new yearly tradition that I am calling the Toalson Family Holiday Blitz. Here’s what it looks like:
1. Make a list of all of the gifts we will lovingly make by hand.
2. Schedule a variety of activities we’ll do together as a family. (Look at Christmas lights, go to a Christmas eve service, make Christmas cookies, make ornaments, etc.)
3. Dust off all of the Christmas movies we plan to re-watch.
4. Procrastinate.
5. Finally start working down the list the week before Christmas and try to cram EVERYTHING into 7 days.
6. Bend the rules about how much screen time the kids are allowed to have.
7. Break the rules about how many treats and snacks we are allowed to eat.
8. Rush everywhere and use the word “hurry” at least 500 times per trip.
9. Look incredulously at the children who are now completely off their rockers due to the aforementioned screen time and junk food.
10. Yell and scream at one another.
11. Threaten to take away Christmas at least 3 times.
12. Stay up way too late the 2-3 nights before Christmas playing catch up.
13. Offset the lack of sleep with too much coffee.
14. Offset the over-abundance of crazy with some sweet, sweet wine.
15. Wrap all of the gifts the night before. Estimate falsely the length of wrapping paper required for at least 5 gifts.
16. Oh, and listen to Christmas music the WHOLE time.
We know that Christmas is more than the presents and the movies and the treats and the music. We know about Christmas being a simple time of year when you get to really enjoy the people that you love. I’m not going to write an article here about how we need to do fewer things so that we can enjoy and appreciate what this season is really about, because the truth is, we love a lot of the things on our list. They were born out of a desire to grow closer together as a family and to build familiar and beloved traditions into our year.
The problem is not that there are too many things on our list. The problem is that we’ve made no room in our lives for the important things on that list during the other times of the year.
Let me explain. Our day to day lives feel jam packed. From waking at 5am to crashing at 9:30, only half-an-hour after wrestling the kids into their beds, we feel like there is no breathing room. Any deviation from our strict, regimented schedule and routine seems to set our home and our lives into a tailspin. No wonder we didn’t get any of that stuff done earlier in the year. There’s simply no room for it. Or is there?
The things on the list don’t just represent how we want to live as a family during Christmas, but all year. Making things with our hands… paintings, drawings, poetry, crafts, etc. so we can experience the accomplishment of making something from nothing, and seeing the joy in another’s face when gifts are given. Enjoying special activities together regularly and experiencing things we all enjoy so we can build lasting memories and be reminded that we belong to each other. Bending and breaking the rules every once in a while so that we don’t merely see the structure as a cage that holds us captive, but a rhythm that lays a foundation for the melody we are writing.
In order for us to live into these things we want to be a part of our identity as a family, we have to make them a regular part of our day to day lives. In order to do that, there may some things we need to cut off. I’m adding something to my list this year that I hope will bring new clarity and freedom for our family to become who we want to be. I will make time to take an inventory of our day to day and ask the question, ‘How do these things reflect who we want to be as a family?’ It’s so easy to creep into habits and routines that, while they may have solved a short term problem or issue once upon a time, are no longer serving a purpose. We need to zoom out every once in a while so we can actually see those otherwise invisible things. Maybe this is worth doing more than once or even twice a year.
I hope your Christmas experience is one that brings your family closer together and reminds you of the things that are truly important. I hope you can discover those things you can let go, and are able to see the places where you can recapture who you are as a family. From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!
