Sixty seconds, y’all. SIXTY SECONDS OF LEFT-ALONE TIME IS ALL IT TOOK FOR THE TWINS TO DO THIS.

I don’t even know what happened here, because they’re 3, and when I asked, it sounded like this:

Boaz: “Zaggit did it.”
Zadok: “NO! I DIDN’T!” (even though he was laid out on the floor with his foot stuck underneath the table and Boaz was clear across the room by the time I got down the stairs. Clearly implicated, Zadok.)
Me: “What happened, guys?”
Boaz: “Zaggit trying to move the table.”
Me: “Why? Why would you try to do that, Zadok?”
Zadok: “…”

These guys. I swear.

All I really know for sure is that I went upstairs to find a missing shoe, because we were already late to my older sons’ reading award ceremony, and dang it if the shoes went missing five minutes before we were supposed to leave. I was gone for no more than sixty seconds before I heard the crash. I thought about sliding down the stairs in the 4-year-old’s fort-box (because I still have a broken foot and walking downstairs quickly would probably end in a broken neck) until I saw that no one was seriously hurt.

These guys are truly the reason I’m one step away from crazy every single day.

I have a sneaking suspicion they want me to lose the battle.

So, on that note, anyone want to brave these twins for a while? They really aren’t that bad.

When they’re sleeping.