Me: It’s time for bed.
3-year-old: But we dinnent have breakthast.
Me: We just ate dinner.
3-year-old: But we dinnent have breakthast.
Me: Breakfast comes after bedtime.
3-year-old: No! Breakthast is now.
Me. No. It’s not.
3-year-old: Yes, it is!
Me: No it’s not.
3-year-old: Yes, it is!
[15 minutes later]
Me: I see what you’re doing here.
Husband: Everybody be quiet.
3-year-old: Why?
Husband: Slap your face for me, son.
5-year-old: I don’t ever want to see my teacher again.
Husband: Why? What happened?
5-year-old: She signed my folder today.
Husband: If you only knew how many times Jadon had his folder signed in kinder.
9-year-old: that was a long time ago. Aaannnd one of the times I got my folder signed I learned how to whistle. So there’s that.
Husband: Show me your whistle.
9-year-old: ffffftttt.
Husband: Yep. Totally learned to whistle.
9-year-old: May you please polish this with butter for me?
Me: We had really big cell phones when I was a little girl.
9-year-old: Did you have a milk man back then?
5-year-old: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
5-year-old: Axew
Me: Axew who?
5-year-old: Can I Axew a question?
Me: You already did. hahahahahaha I GOT THE LAST WORD ON THAT ONE.
5-year-old:
Me:
5-year-old: I don’t get it.
9-year-old: I really like playing Pikachu with Asher.
Me: Okay, enough with the Pokemon jokes.
6-year-old: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there.
6-year-old: There’s a Pokemon on your finger.
Me: There’s a Pokemon on your finger who?
6-year-old: There’s a Pokemon on your finger, and it’s named Pinky-choo!
Me: Are we ever going to be done with Pokemon jokes?
All: No.
